Much ink has been spilled in favor of the banana pancake. The harmonious marriage between banana, batter, butter, and syrup has been with us for generations – a tried and true combination to be sure. But consider, for a moment, the humble blueberry pancake.

From the perspective of preparation, the banana pancake is clearly outclassed; no slicing or peeling necessary. Simply toss a handful of god’s chosen berry into the batter and get ready for your gastronomic adventure to begin. Second – and more importantly – the physical properties of the blueberry are ideal for promoting an even distribution of fruit suspended in batter. The oblate spheroid shape of the blueberry promotes diffuse Rayleigh scattering (the perfect amount of fruit in every bite) in contrast to the inelastic Landsberg distribution (clumped fruit and chaos) brought about by the cylindrical shape of banana slices.

The average diameter of a banana slice is about 66 millimeters (see ‘Some Physical Properties of Full-Ripe Banana Fruit’, Soltani, Alimardani and Omid, 2011). As shown in previous posts the ideal Schelling depth of a pancake for promoting even syrup absorption is approximately 25 millimeters. With a diameter larger than the depth of the pancake itself, banana slices invariably cause the dreaded ‘Flat Coin Syndrome’ that pancake enthusiasts are all too familiar with. Reichardt, Gershowitz, and Feltholdn (2014) have proposed a new slicing technique to prevent this problem involving quadrilateral incisions along the median to ensure a closer approximation of Rayleigh scattering; however their experimental methods are dubious at best and even the most optimistic interpretation of their result leaves bananas in a different class than blueberries.

Consider further the terpene profile of the blueberry. Blueberry is α-terpinolene dominant with strong trans-β-ocimene and limonene components (as shown by Luderberg, Whipperplum, and Flanderghast 2004). As I’m sure you all know, these terpenes are classic vanillin catalysts and harmonize seamlessly with the terpene profile of maple syrup. Bananas, being myrcene dominant, are a poor match for syrup and only serve to obfuscate the vanillin, hydroxybutanone, and propionaldehyde of maple (Ladefoget, Harissbillin, and Yogerbutel 2008).

Given these factors it’s hard to believe that the banana pancake still retains such a significant plurality of the American fruit pancake market. This circumstance can only be explained by entrenched cultural habits and socially reinforced implicit biases. Unlearning these biases will be difficult, but it can and must be done. I believe that we as a species deserve better. We must strive to be better. We must fight to be better. Make no mistake, this is a war. Which side are you on? Do you fight for truth and order and progress or convenience and chaos and fear?

We are at a crossroads in our history and I have no intention of one day telling my grandchildren that I stood idly and watched as the world allowed pomp and circumstance dictate their choice of pancake. Give me blueberry pancakes or give me death.